Archive for the Uncategorized Category

I am Proud

Saturday, April 13th, 2013 | Permalink

So I decided to record my poetry as was once recommended to me at an Inspired Word reading about a year ago. It’s really a brilliant idea.

This poem is about being proud of yourself. I wrote it right around the time I was going to Vancouver Pride in 2010. I was inspired by so many proud individuals who were so comfortable with themselves. It’s really important to be proud of who you are. You are the only YOU that exists so be proud of that! To relate to the overall theme of this website, be proud of your sexuality. I’m not just talking about LGBTQ; I’m talking about being proud of your values, opinions, experiences, and passions about sex and relationships. Do you value healthy relationships? Of course you do! Be proud of that.

I love diversity so therefore it’s safe to say I love sexual diversity! I love comfort and pride, so here is a poem that I am very proud of:

I am Proud – A Poem (Please click here for the youtube link).

This is supposed to be the artwork for the podcast. You may gaze at my art masterpiece as you listen to my powerful words… if you so choose. :)
P.S. It is supposed to say “FREEDOM”, which is does, I assure you. My camera cut it off because it’s not proud of itself…

Feel free to email me at sarah@educationsexpectations.com with questions, comments and ideas.

Stay safe, sexually speaking

So here’s my email. So write me daily.

Saturday, January 12th, 2013 | Permalink

Hello friends! It’s about time YOU got to email your favourite sexpert!!! With this website up and running, I decided to go all professional on your ass and get a super sick email address for those of you wish to contact me.

You can message me on the site directly OR email me (better). For requests, comments and/or concerns, compliments, websites, resources and to send me pictures of hot celebrities, please email:

sarah@educationsexpectations.com

My issue with judgmental people

Wednesday, November 16th, 2011 | Permalink

So I’m currently reading a lot of research and popular literature surrounding “issues of disagreement”, so to speak, when it comes to sexual health education.

I have an issue:

WHY do people care about stuff that doesn’t pertain to them?!?! Do I care about the couple sitting across from me making out and wondering if they will use a condom tonight? Well, yes… HOWEVER, I assume that because they are 18+ (I’m in a university right now) they have been equipped with healthy decision-making skills and/or are aware that free condoms are available at the health centre. Also, it’s SEX WEEK, (holla), so people should not be having any unsafe sex damn it!

WHY do assholes people care about petitioning things that have NOTHING to do with them?!?!?! For example, petitioning for a lower tuition as a university student makes PERFECT sense to me. Petitioning against hiring homosexual teachers at a school (I know! Ridiiiiiculous) makes no sense to me when you SHOULD be perfectly aware that a person’s sexual orientation does not negatively reflect his/her ability to teach. It probably makes them a more passionate teacher! Just saying… Because self-confidence and awareness is a beautiful thing that only makes someone stronger!! Be yourselves my friends. <3

WHYYYYY do bitches people care about picketing outside hospitals?!!!???? Like, if someone was having a really intense life or death situation surgery and people were holding signs that said “You can do it!” and “I believe in you!” and awesome stuff like that, then please continue to sing and dance outside of hospitals. That would be wicked actually. If I was in a situation like that and people were holding signs outside saying “I love you” and such, awwww… :)

What I MEAN is people who picket against abortion. Who are you? Seriously, who are you? Women have rights just like others to do whatever they please with their bodies. People make mistakes (unsafe sex, just saying), but keep your mothereffing opinion to yourself. Freedom of speech my ass. You are hurting people.

I only ever saw abortion pickets o television until I moved here. Now I see them all the time when I drive by the hospital. It makes me feel bad going in when I need a blood test! Go get educated my friends and stop blocking my way into the ultrasound room. (Exaggeration… but still).

WHY do people feel the need to preach against others? Don’t be judgmental. No one is defined by ONE decision he or she makes. As for sexual orientation, the decision is not to be gay/straight/bi/trans/black/white/penguin/hippo, it is to accept what you are BORN with: that is your sexual identity.

I can’t wait until we live in a world where no one cares and there aren’t even labels. I can’t wait to live in a world where people are people. Let’s make it happen.

Educate. Liberate. Celebrate! (Slogan from Vancouver 2010 Pride that I loooooove and want to marry).

Forgive my rant… I just find so much negativity around something so positive: Freedom of choice, Freedom of identity and self, and Freedom to live the life you want to live.

Stay safe, sexually speaking.

PS. Don’t GET me started on masturbation. If you’ve read any of my sex ed preachings, you know how I feel about the wonderful world of masturbation. Boys and girls: You will not die if you masturbate. Words of wisdom: Don’t do it on the subway. Keep it private kids.

Who’s thinking of the children? I know I am!!

Wednesday, May 4th, 2011 | Permalink

Ladies and gentlemen,
Buckle your seat belts and hold the phone because this is so exciting even YOU might raise an eyebrow. Yours truly has just received her very own copy of Our Schools Our Selves the Spring 2011 edition. Cool.

Yes, it’s cool. What’s COOLER is that on page 71, my article on student-centred sexual health education is shining beneath a picture of me looking QUITE academic!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know. Seriously.
So I’ll give you a brief synopsis of what I argue and then leave you in SUSPENSE!!!

First of all, this is an incredibly awesome and progressive journal about policy change in Canada. Beautiful read. I read the sex education edition and kind of fell in love. Twice.

So my article is called “Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children? Promoting student-centred sexual health education“. *sigh* Take a moment to love that… there.

Here’s a picture of it:

Isn’t that gorgeous? Oh yes. I can’t even handle it.
There’s another picture above. Oh it’s so awesome.

So I’m essentially advocating FOR comprehensive sexual health education BECAUSE it is student-centred and focuses on the learners (the students) instead of other biases. The students need to know information relevant to them, so I argue that let’s LISTEN to them and feed off of their questions in order to sculpt a better curriculum. I suggest a couple of ways to do so by pointing to some research that has worked well; for example, anonymous question boxes. Do this.

Anyway, I’m excited. I will talk about this article (and reference myself like a cocky narcissus) later. I will also post about my trip to England where I again advocated for STUDENT-CENTRED LEARNING through collaboration! Yaaaaaaay.

Stay safe, sexually speaking.
Yours,
the published sarah

Write me happiness

Thursday, March 3rd, 2011 | Permalink


Ladies and gentlemen,

I interrupt this stream of research to share with you some of my own glory that I am basking in.

This post will address some of my upcoming sexual health successes and some contemplations for the future.

Awesomeness #1: I am embarking on a Europe journey at the end of this month which will end in Durham, England at the Knowledge Exchange in Public Health (FUSE) conference. I will snap as many pictures and absorb as much information as humanly possible. I may even post my academic poster to the blog.

Awesomeness #2: I will very shortly be published in an academic journal!!!!! My article is on student-centred learning in sexual health education. This journal will be published in April, 2011. I will link to the journal website once I am a part of its brilliance! :):) CAN’T WAIT!

Awesomeness #3: I may or may not have googled sexual health PhD programs. Food for thought… Do I want a PhD or another M.A. in human sexuality, family relations and child/adolescent development, counseling. I’m leaning towards the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, but I have a soft spot for Ontario (my homeslice of a province), and so University of Guelph is also on my mind. YAY FOR THE FUTURE!!!

One step at a time. Step one: write a blog. :) Thanks for making it happen.
Stay safe, sexually speaking

— the Sarah sexology Bryantology

A menstruation sensation you say?!?!

Thursday, February 10th, 2011 | Permalink

It was a Wednesday. I was wearing a white skirt. The horror!

I had nothing on me. Not even a kleenex! I went into the women’s washroom and lurked like a creep until eventually, a SAINT gave me a pad. :) (Shout out to women who are sweet).

HOLD the phone Sarah. This is AWFULLY intimate and uncomfortable… you not only talking about your vagina, but the fact that you needed a pad… which leads to an assumption that you were on your PERIOD.

The following article contains talk about menstruation.

After this glorious day (I told the story to a girl who was having a bad day, and we laughed, reminiscing about how if this was 10 years earlier, it would have been the end of my life in terms of catastrophically bad days), I decided to write an article about the beauty of the ‘period’. It’s awesome. Bask in its greatness.


Even Hello Kitty isn’t afraid of the period!

GENTLEMEN, keep reading and stop being so stereotypically afraid of the monthly inevitability of every female.

PERIODS:
At the end of my sentence, and the end of my youth

Remember that monthly gift every female inevitably gets? Remember that thing that guys never want to talk about? The purpose of this article is to uncover some of the mystical wonders and mythical assumptions of female menstruation, also known as “the period”. Female empowerment will be explored through research on girls’ perspectives and perceptions of periods and how to find the positivity in an arguably negative situation. The social norm is to dislike that looming week every month when a period is bound to happen during a time a female wants to go swimming, have sex, or just wear sexy underwear without a pad.
It is necessary to rejoice in menstruation. There are both negatives and positives associated with menstruation, but the positives are barely ever addressed.

Here are some misconceptions and socially accepted beliefs surrounding menstruation:

Periods are a girl’s problem
So there is this recent commercial about Kotex tampons that sees a woman asking men to go into the pharmacy to buy her tampons because she forgot her bike lock. All of the men are reluctant to do it. One man even says “can I get you toilet paper?” (TresSugar, 2010). No you cannot just get toilet paper! The reactions from the men are typically that of embarrassment or nervousness. I bet the reaction would be different if she was asking him to buy condoms. When it comes to educating oneself about sexuality and issues surrounding puberty and growth, all people, males and females alike, should be informed. Especially if a male is going to be sexually active, he should be familiar with a girl’s period, in my opinion. What about pregnancy and educating about a woman’s hormonal cycles? Men should know this if they plan on being involved in a woman’s life intimately and sexually. The commercial illustrates one of the common perceptions about men and periods. Periods are not a “problem” and they are most definitely not a “girl’s” problem.

Periods are scary
Don’t be afraid of your period. It’s nature’s way of reminding you that your vagina works, your body’s way of thanking you for using a condom, and also a celebratory sign that you are not pregnant. Menstruation is necessary in order to cleanse the female body. One’s period is thus like internal yoga… for the vagina.

There are countless myths depicting fear and discomfort with the period. As if a girl can control whether or not she gets one, the period is frowned upon, not talked about over breakfast, nor is it in any way a ‘happy occurrence’. Yes, cramps suck, and bleeding is never fun; but it’s only once a month and hey, what would you prefer: bleeding every so often or getting a visible reminder of when you’re turned on? Erections. They seem like they’d be annoying. Girls: enjoy your vagina. Period and all.

My period means I am no longer innocent

Jessica Valenti’s (2010) The Purity Myth is a novel about America’s obsession with virginity and some of the misconceptions of purity. In her novel, she talks about innocence and how some restrictive abstinence-only educators couple it with menstruation:

In a 2008 MSNBC medical article … doctor/reporter Billy Goldberg bemoaned how girls are beginning to menstruate at younger and younger ages: ‘What happened to the innocence of youth?’ he asked. He also wrote, ‘Earlier onset of puberty is associated with health concerns beyond the loss of youthful innocence’(Valenti, 2010, p. 71-72).

What is implied here? Girls should remain youthful? Periods are the negative consequence of growing up? Menstruation is inevitable in all young women, and so, should we not be embracing this ‘step’ in the growth process? This quote implies loss of youthful innocence is a societal worry and equates it with health concerns related to abnormal menstruation. Not every woman is the same, and thus, irregular periods are very common at least once in a woman’s life. Also, there is no escaping menstruation, so regardless of potential health concerns, women are going to bleed. A psychological source confirms the possibility of health concerns related to early menstruation, but there are no concerns in terms of youthful innocence: “Age of menarche [first menstrual period] is related to a number of health problems. Girls who menstruate at very young ages are at greater risk for such problems as breast and endometrial cancer…girls who have a higher intake of dietary fibre or a lower intake of monounsaturated fat begin menstruating later” (Rathus et al., 2010, p. 76). Maintaining a healthy diet decreases the risk of health concerns in women, among other positives. Eat fibre! Cleanse your body.

Fingerson (2006) writes about menstruation and empowerment in her novel Girls in Power. Similar to Valenti (2010) who argues that menstruation is a positive experience in a girl’s life and by no means extinguishes a girl’s innocence, Fingerson (2006) pairs interviews with young adolescent girls with research on socially accepted constructions on how Western society views menstruation. Based on the claims made in these two texts, both authors would argue menstruation has nothing to do with a ‘loss of innocence’ because “for women, menstruation is ordinary. Women menstruate on average just under one week per month; thus, approximately one-quarter of all fertile women are menstruating at any given moment” (Fingerson, 2006, p. 15). Girls become women whether they like it or not, and so this is a reality for all females.

Periods are dirty

EW, periods are dirty! How may I ask? Quite the contrary. Periods are a body’s way of telling a female that she is functioning healthily. Periods are like a monthly pat on the back. In Fingerson’s (2006) text, many girls stated that one of the only positives they could find in getting their period was that it is a way to cleanse the body. Keeping this in mind, girls found their periods more empowering and less ‘dirty’ and ‘shameful’.


Periods and social norms

Fingerson (2006) interviews girls and women with different views on menstruation in her novel Girls in Power. The consensus is that girls are afraid to talk about their periods outside of an intimate group of girls. For the most part, “girls are menstruating but they work to conceal this and act as if they are not since they do not want to be different from those around them” (Fingerson, 2006, p.16). Again, in Western society, there is a “cultural emphasis on concealment” (17), meaning that girls are expected to feel as if they should hide their inevitable menstruation. Fingerson (2006) argues that girls should embrace this time in their lives and acknowledge their new found womanhood and their maturing bodies. If it is okay for a male’s voice to drop and him to grow facial hair, I think it should be okay for a woman’s breasts to grow and her monthly gift to flow.

References

Fingerson, L. (2006). Girls in power. Albany, NY: State of University New York Press.

Rathus, S. A., Nevid, J. S., Fichner-Rathus, L., & Herold, E.S. (2010). Human sexuality in a world of diversity. (3rd ed.). Toronto: Pearson Education Canada.

TresSugar (2010). Social experiment meets tampon ads in Kotex campaign. TresSugar.com. Retrieved on January 24, 2011 from http://www.tressugar.com/ Kotex-Ad-Features-Woman-Asking-Men-Buy-Her-Tampons-8186439

Valenti, J. (2010). The purity myth: How America’s obsession with virginity is hurting young women. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press.

Do you like me? Check yes or no.

Thursday, February 10th, 2011 | Permalink

Ladies who are into ladies and gentlemen who are into ladies, and all others that pertain,
You want dating advice? You’ve come to the right place. Click below to check out my Cosmo-esque ‘how to’ style article on how to get women to make out with you.

http://www.thephoenixnews.com/articles/42059

Definition sexpedition

Tuesday, February 1st, 2011 | Permalink


Hello friends,

I wrote an article last week for the school newspaper about definitions.

What is sex?

Does oral count too?

Is sex defined by penetration? Orgasm? None of the above? Genital to genital contact?

A couple of things for you all to ponder as you read my lovely article.

Enjoy! :)

http://www.thephoenixnews.com/articles/41170

And now I shall show you all what virginity is!

Monday, January 17th, 2011 | Permalink

Try this on for size! Here is a vlog of me reading out an outrageous abstinence-only education classroom exercise. Oh my….. goodness. Beautiful.
PS. I don’t know how to make the ‘thumbnail’ for this video attractive.

More on “The Purity Myth” to come! I will NEVER be done talking about it :)

Virgin WHAT?! Define purity… and then we’ll talk

Sunday, January 16th, 2011 | Permalink

Purity… I think of doves and girls in flowing dresses frolicking in a meadow…

So I’m currently reading one of the greatest books of all time: The Purity Myth: How America’s obsession with virginity is hurting young women by Jessica Valenti. Not only is the book written extremely well, and the research is just flawlessly chosen, etc… but the ideas and the inquisitive nature of almost every paragraph… marry me.

I am only 100 pages in so far, and I have like, 438907589478092 post its and highlights. I want to make references to a couple of things and throw my opinion at them (despite how similar my opinion is to Valenti’s… she’s a genius, so it’s all good).

So essentially the main issue revolves around
– what is purity?
– what is a virgin?
– what’s the deal with the virgin/whore dichotomy
– sexualization of youth and how this relates to the obsession with virginity
– if you have sex, you are forever tainted and may as well go live in a cave
– if you are a virgin, here… have a pony <3

oh shi–

Like me, Valenti (2010) argues that abstinence teaching is not a bad thing; however, the absence of any other teaching about sexual health is just wrong. There is a huge bias there about beliefs, and really, who are YOU to say what students believe and what they should believe?!?! Yes, YOU! .____.

Like my thesis majestically says (although in a very rough copy at the moment), sex education should focus more on the individual, relationships, experiences, and healthy living rather than the ACT of intercourse and its negative outcomes. Seriously… negativity doesn’t sit well with anyone, and although students NEED to be aware of STIs and unwanted babies, they also need to know that kissing and holding hands and the nice feeling of having your body caressed is nice when it is done in a HEALTHY way.

So why is this virginity issue such an issue??

WELL,
Whether you are a virgin or a whore* (it seems to me like you are either or in the eyes of a virginity-movement advocate), neither is really a good thing.
If you are a virgin, you are a limited sheltered “girl”** who is waiting for her husband to take her flower, etc. Boring.
If you are a whore, you have sex with everything that moves and are dirty and tainted and worthless and hopeless and ANYONE who is not a heterosexual girl purely waiting for her husband to come retrieve the tulips.

*Whore??? But she’s wearing the colour of purity!!! And doing yoga!!!

Virgin? There IS a cloud in the background. And she looks like she’s never had sex (<— what the hell does THIS look like??!?!?!?!) ** I hate this. I wish SO badly to hear about boys. What about boys? I mean, I understand the pressures are very much in the camps of us females, but what about those poor boys in high school who are being teased by their friends to ‘tap that chick’, etc.? What if a boy DOESN’T want to have sex? Or what if he does it and then regrets it? I don’t think one can argue that one gender is harder to be when growing up. In both respects, there’s a hardcore amount of pressure and obsession surrounding sexuality. But, why?

For some reason, sexuality is a big deal. *shrugs* Go worry about your mathematics grade and stop bugging others about how ‘far’ they’ve gone.

Anyway, back to the book (I could write all day) <3<3<3 Here’s something to try on for size: A symbol of abstinence: a gold rose pin handed out in schools and at Christian* youth events. The pin is attached to a small card that reads, ‘You are like a beautiful rose. Each time you engage in pre-marital sex, a precious petal is stripped away. Don’t leave your future husband holding a bare stem. Abstain.'” (Valenti, 2010, p. 32).

(Hilarious comic strip illustrating the reality of the above quote to come…)

WHAT?!

Sweet merciful mother!!!! That is just…. OMGGGGGGGG! Holy pressure cooker Batman!

*This scares me. If you are a Christian youth, you MUST be this way. It is your stigma. If you are not, you CANNOT be this way. There’s that dichotomy again. I can only imagine a girl wearing a gold pin and falling in love (properly… the definition is up for debate… interpret as you will), and wanting to say… kiss her beloved. Then, wanting to maybe you know… MORE. YOU CAN’T! YOU AREN’T MARRIED!!! But, but… she can’t afford a wedding yet… and– and– she’s only 17. NO! NO!!! AAAAHHHH!!!! *explodes*

Terrifying. And yet, true. America IS obsessed with virginity. I think Canadians are a tad preoccupied with it… but not quite obsessed? I’d like to see a Canadian rendition of this novel… probably wouldn’t be tooooooo different, methinks.

Anyway, I have nothing against beautiful gold pins. Hell, I’ll wear one. But don’t go throwing virginity into a symbol and pressuring someone to make a decision like that at such a young age. When you’re 10, all you want to do is play in the dirt and sing stupid pop songs. It’s a sweet life! Let’s teach our students to self-reflect, assess personal values, and communicate effectively in order to make these apparently “INTENSELY LIFE-CHANGING DECISIONS!!!!”

Newsflash: Having sex is like making a sandwich. It happens all the time. And it’s really not that big of a deal. It’s a deal… but not that big of one. Let the students decide how big of a deal their sexualities are before we put a giant OMG stamp on all things sexual. Seriously.

ALSO, one last thought (haha, totally kidding… I have oodles to say, but another blog TBA…)
It’s parents and adults who are so obsessed with this virginity thing. Students are only obsessed with it because adults have so much control over policy, especially extremist adults like people associated with the virginity-movements. Mad props to passionate individuals, but let’s back off a little and let diverse individuals lead diverse, beautiful, unique, and healthy lives instead of drawing out the sexual to-do list of every student ever.

To do:
1. Abstain
2. Brush teeth

^ HAH! Me.

Purity. Doves. Enough said.

Stay safe. Sexually speaking… this includes BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO abstinence.

PS. Anyone who tells you to abstain from masturbating needs a kick in the jaw. As if you can tell me I can’t touch my own body.

PSS. Where the lesbians at??!?!?! Apparently, they don’t exist in the virginity-movement. Don’t GET me started.