Archive for the Sexual safety Category

The R word: What is this and how can I kill it?

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013 | Permalink

How can I kill the thoughts of morons who claim:

“well… you were drunk.”

“well… you were dressed like that.”

“well… he is such a funny and smart guy. He would never do that.”

“…but she’s a girl. Girls can’t rape guys.”

Take your uneducated, wrong ass back to the drawing board and draw a picture of me hitting you with a car!!!

Rape: One can define rape as unlawful sexual activity, typically intercourse, carried out forcibly against the will of a person under the age of consent or a person who has not consented to the act. Another definition calls rape “an outrageous violation”. It is comparable and in the same category as sexual assault and sometimes is called just that.

As a sexual health educator, I feel it is imperative that I speak out on this matter. First thing’s first: The victims are all I care about. Not criminals. 

If you cannot go to a party and not rape someone, bitch it’s time for you to never go to a party!! Ever again.

Rape can happen in other places, but college parties are one of the most notorious places where sexual assault and rape occurs.

I’ve read a few articles and been notified via social networks of an occurrence in West Virginia of a rape. All the details centre around the rapists. I won’t go further. I don’t care about the rapists. Anyway, some comments on this specific situation float the idea around of women accepting risk and needing to accept the fact that rape is possible of they go to a party….

Bitch, what?

 

What is this I don’t even!

If a girl goes to a party where there is alcohol, she is supposed to be aware of consequences and therefore is partially responsible if something happens because she is supposed to be aware? What if a woman is walking home from feeding blind puppies and gets attacked? Is she supposed to accept the risk that a woman can get raped anywhere and therefore must never go outside? EVER? How dare she…

Reality is, rape is 100% never the fault of the victim. Bitch, some chick could be lying naked on a couch and smiling. Plot twist: She’s a nudist and this is a normal Tuesday for her! Never does a person ASK to be raped. C’mon now.

Girls and guys should be able to dress as they please and go where they please without worry.

As. they. please.

Unfortunately, our world isn’t candies and rainbows, so it is beneficial to take caution in some ways for certain situations. For example, at a college party: watch your drink at all times, have a friend to take you home or a taxi number readily available, and always eat your vegetables to promote a healthy bowel.

Also, one of the many disturbing misconceptions about rape is that it cannot happen to a guy.

Let me tell you something. Consent goes both ways. I would be more cautious as a guy, in a party situation for example, because of the ugly beliefs about gender stereotypes. Men are stronger? That means nothing when you’re being violated.

Rape can happen anywhere to anyone. If you see someone who might be in danger, check on them. It might mean more to them than you can imagine.

I was once at a party. I was having a great time, but my head started to hurt and it kept getting worse. Eventually, I asked one of my male friends to walk me home. I had my head in my hands and my friend was walking me out the door when another guy stopped him saying, “Excuse me! Excuse me! Where are you going?” My friend said “I’m just walking her home. Her head–” “I wasn’t talking to you. Excuse me?” He looked at me. “Do you know this guy?” I was surprised. I said, “Yes I do. He’s my friend, but thank you for asking. I really appreciate your concern for my safety.” He then talked with us for a minute, shook my friend’s hand, and went back inside. He wasn’t the owner of the house. He had never even seen me before…

In a party setting, especially college or university where peer pressure is high and “budding adulthood” is intriguing, this kind of behaviour seems a little rare. I didn’t expect anyone to bat an eye at two people leaving a party. God bless that outstanding gentleman who made sure I was safe and in the hands of someone I knew rather than a stranger. I hope he is doing well today. I wish I could see him again so I could shake his hand and say thank you.

From all the girls and boys, men and women, who avoid walking around at night for fear of attack, thank you kind bystanders who make us feel safe.

From all the students who avoid college parties because of so many stories with unhappy endings, and they just don’t want to risk it, thank you for being a true gentleman and a hero.

When you (yes you!) are in a situation that doesn’t seem right, be a hero and step up to make sure it’s all good. In my story, my male friend was not offended by the questioning. He was actually very impressed that someone would take the time to assess a precarious picture (my head was down and a larger male was guiding me quickly from a party). We need more stories about heroes and true, honourable people in this world. God bless that guy.

Rape. It’s not about that power-hungry asshole who thinks the law is flexible and optional. It’s about the beautiful, intelligent, inspiring individuals who need to hear “it’s not your fault. It never was. It never will be” again and again.

I applaud victims for their courage, strength, and wisdom they pass on to others. I applaud the amazing, intelligent, extraordinary individuals who stand up and assess potentially risky situations. These people stop ugly things, like rape, from happening.

I do not applaud rapists. I don’t care about rapists. I don’t want to know who you are. Get the fuck out of my newspaper.

 You heard me…

 

Stay safe, please! Sexually speaking.

Once Upon a Condom: A contraceptive’s tale

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011 | Permalink

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So I read this article on social change and the sexual revolution and discovered SO much about the origin of contraceptives. I have decided to write this in the form of a fairytale… as we all know condoms are like enchanted fairies in that they protect us and bestow majesty onto our lives.

Ahem: Once upon a condom…


Once upon a time, in 1900 to be exact, premarital sex was frowned upon. If one was to frolic in the bed with another, approximately “71% of females would have gotten pregnant (had they engaged in sex for a year at normal frequencies)” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. 905). Good Lord, the townsfolk said. Let us change this so that by 2002, these odds will drop to 28%.

Thus, the “contraception revolution” began!


Once upon a condom, venereal diseases were the main concern in regards to premarital, unprotected sex (Beck & Earl, 2003; Greenwood & Guner, 2010). Back in the day, condoms were used for STI purposes rather than for pregnancy. HOWEVER, condoms were damn pricey in the 1900’s being around “$34 a dozen relative to today’s real wages” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. p. 905). JESUS a townswoman screamed. I KNOW another townsperson shrieked, agog at this craziness. Bitch please.


In the 1930’s, a miracle occurred: this miracle was named the latex condom.


This miracle greatly reduced cost and greatly increased quality. Hmmm… BIRTH CONTROL, WHAT A GOOD IDEA!!!!

All of a sudden, other methods of birth control started POURING out of the sky!!!


In 1960, “The Food and Drug Administration approved the use of [the pill], which was a remarkable scientific achievement involving the synthesis of a hormone designed to fool the reproductive system” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. 906). BWAHAHAHAHA reproductive system, screamed the pill. You just got PUNKED!!


The townspeople, and the rest of the world, soon discovered the power of knowledge and how knowledge about reproduction and contraception is super important and VITAL in safe sexual practices and sexuality in general.


In 1914, the modern birth control movement began with a badass named Margaret Sanger who published a pamphlet on birth control and opened the first birth control clinic in 1919 (the first operational birth control clinic was in 1923). Sanger promoted birth control even though the police got super pissed at her for being all liberal and prosecuted her for her awesome innovation. Assholes.


The birth control movement was HUGE, making information about contraception incredibly available and easily accessible. Eventually, the condom became super popular and now it is the most popular method of birth control; its use actually increasing over time!! The role of the condom in safe sex SIGNIFICANTLY impacted pregnancy rates, “declining pregnancies among teenagers during the 1990’s” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. 906).

The increase in condom usage was ALSO influenced by formal reproductive health education!!!!!! Claps. GOOD JOB CONDOM!! Way to educate people. I’m so proud of you. Sex ed continued to expand during the 1990s into the beauty it is today. It continues to expand. EXPAND MORE!!!!


So the moral of the story is condom failure rates have declined from 45-14.5% due to technological advancements and increased knowledge about its appropriate use (Greenwood & Guner, 2010). Also, the pill rose to become the most effective form of contraception when it was introduced in the 1960’s, showing the importance of education.

Together, condom and pill are a power team of unbeatable awesomeness…aka neither of them are 100% effective, but the reliability has increased with awareness and innovation.

Well done team safe sex.


Fin.


References:

*

Greenwood, J. & Guner, N. (2010, November). Social change: The sexual revolution. International Economic Review, 51(4): 893-923.

Key issues in secondary education (2003). In Beck J., Earl M. (Eds.), (2nd ed.). London: Continuum.


*Math and sex ed? Love it. For the quantitative in you!! Most of my information came from this source. Thanks fellow sexual health promoters!


Stay safe, with condoms

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So I read this article on social change and the sexual revolution and discovered SO much about the origin of contraceptives. I have decided to write this in the form of a fairytale… as we all know condoms are like enchanted fairies in that they protect us and bestow majesty onto our lives.

Ahem: Once upon a condom…

Once upon a time, in 1900 to be exact, premarital sex was frowned upon. If one was to frolic in the bed with another, approximately “71% of females would have gotten pregnant (had they engaged in sex for a year at normal frequencies)” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. 905). Good Lord, the townsfolk said. Let us change this so that by 2002, these odds will drop to 28%.

Thus, the “contraception revolution” began!

Once upon a condom, venereal diseases were the main concern in regards to premarital, unprotected sex (Beck & Earl, 2003; Greenwood & Guner, 2010). Back in the day, condoms were used for STI purposes rather than for pregnancy. HOWEVER, condoms were damn pricey in the 1900’s being around “$34 a dozen relative to today’s real wages” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. p. 905). JESUS a townswoman screamed. I KNOW another townsperson shrieked, agog at this craziness. Bitch please.

In the 1930’s, a miracle occurred: this miracle was named the latex condom.

This miracle greatly reduced cost and greatly increased quality. Hmmm… BIRTH CONTROL, WHAT A GOOD IDEA!!!!

All of a sudden, other methods of birth control started POURING out of the sky!!!

In 1960, “The Food and Drug Administration approved the use of [the pill], which was a remarkable scientific achievement involving the synthesis of a hormone designed to fool the reproductive system” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. 906). BWAHAHAHAHA reproductive system, screamed the pill. You just got PUNKED!!

The townspeople, and the rest of the world, soon discovered the power of knowledge and how knowledge about reproduction and contraception is super important and VITAL in safe sexual practices and sexuality in general.

In 1914, the modern birth control movement began with a badass named Margaret Sanger who published a pamphlet on birth control and opened the first birth control clinic in 1919 (the first operational birth control clinic was in 1923). Sanger promoted birth control even though the police got super pissed at her for being all liberal and prosecuted her for her awesome innovation. Assholes.

The birth control movement was HUGE, making information about contraception incredibly available and easily accessible. Eventually, the condom became super popular and now it is the most popular method of birth control; its use actually increasing over time!! The role of the condom in safe sex SIGNIFICANTLY impacted pregnancy rates, “declining pregnancies among teenagers during the 1990’s” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. 906).

The increase in condom usage was ALSO influenced by formal reproductive health education!!!!!! Claps. GOOD JOB CONDOM!! Way to educate people. I’m so proud of you. Sex ed continued to expand during the 1990s into the beauty it is today. It continues to expand. EXPAND MORE!!!!

So the moral of the story is condom failure rates have declined from 45-14.5% due to technological advancements and increased knowledge about its appropriate use (Greenwood & Guner, 2010). Also, the pill rose to become the most effective form of contraception when it was introduced in the 1960’s, showing the importance of education.

Together, condom and pill are a power team of unbeatable awesomeness…aka neither of them are 100% effective, but the reliability has increased with awareness and innovation.

Well done team safe sex.

Fin.

References:
*

Greenwood, J. & Guner, N. (2010, November). Social change: The sexual revolution. International Economic Review, 51(4): 893-923.
Key issues in secondary education (2003). In Beck J., Earl M. (Eds.), (2nd ed.). London: Continuum.

*Math and sex ed? Love it. For the quantitative in you!! Most of my information came from this source. Thanks fellow sexual health promoters!

Stay safe, with condoms
Path:

One lay, two day, three way, foreplay

Wednesday, April 20th, 2011 | Permalink

Dr. Seuss said it best when he rhymed Sam and ham and all that jazz. It just makes sense, doesn’t it? Rhyming is fun, hence the title of this article; however, I did not make this article rhyme. That is a goal for another day.

One of my dear friends asked me to publish something about foreplay, so I did. I aim to please. Here is the article as it was published in UBC Okanagan’s school newspaper, The Phoenix. Enjoy!
More to come! Forgive me, I’ve been in Europe both adventuring and boasting about my research. A blog will highlight the sexual health fun soon time! :)

–Sarah

http://www.thephoenixnews.com/articles/45718