Let’s all get pregz! Helllllllllllllllll NO.

June 14th, 2013 by the sarah | Permalink

So I recently watched this movie called The Pregnancy Pact. It’s your typical Lifetime made-for-tv movie about sex ed in a small town in Massachusetts. It’s got all my favourite things: an INYOURFACE life lesson, sub-par acting, and it’s made-for-tv so you KNOW it’ll win an Oscar.

Anyway, I read the title in passing and thought, I MUST watch this because I HAVE to know what the hell a pregnancy pact is. Turns out, the movie is based on a true story. WHAT?! Reason number 2 to watch this beast.

In short: The setting is a highschool in smalltown Gloucester, Massachusetts. It’s a strict Catholic town in which birth control is frowned upon and sex is an “ears plugged I don’t hear you I don’t see it happening it’s not happening” kind of thing.
There’s a clique of a handful of 15 year old girls at school who are attached at the hip. One day, one of the girls gets pregnant and says “Omg guys, you should get pregnant too. It’s awesome! Our kids will all be girls and they can be BFFs like us, OMG LOLZ 😉 :P.” Mhmm.
I wonder where this is going.
So this is the “pregnancy pact” that these girls come up with. ….On with the show.

The main girl’s mom is the president of some Family Values council who raises funds for daycare at the local highschool because SO  many goddamn girls are pregnant and having children. And you know, instead of spending like $20 on 4372975 condoms that’ll solve the pregnancy AND potential STI problems (!!!!!), let’s throw thousands of dollars into funding a free daycare for teen girls who are getting pregnant because it’s “cool”. Mhmm.

I’ll just leave this here:

So I bust out the popcorn (rice crackers… I’m in Abu Dhabi and I have no microwave… I make do) and I kick back and start the film. As I’m watching, I’m hearing wickedly wonderful “sex ed textbook” lines, so I HAVE to stop and grab a pen.

I bet you can guess that the main girl in the movie gets pregnant and her mom’s all “What?! But I preach abstinence until marriage and you would never! YOU WOULD NEVER! OMGGGGG. Well, a baby is God’s gift and it’s alllllll good”. Mhmm.

So anyway,  I really just wanted to quote some lines from the movie and add my educated and severely opinionated commentary for your entertainment/to expand your knowledge of teen pregnancy and its rise and misconceptions and all that jazz, so here you are:

Memorable quotes and LOL/WTFs from The Pregnancy Pact

The mother on her daughter’s boyfriend: “He’s got good morals and he goes to church”
The dad on his daughter’s boyfriend: “He’s still a 17 year old boy”

Can I get a hell yes right now please?! How GOOD is this. Okay, church is lovely. I’ve been. You get to sing sweet songs about Jesus and everyone smiles at you. Also, you typically dress up, and who doesn’t like to look swank on a Sunday, but BITCH PLEASE. Let me tell you something — dicks have minds. Dicks don’t go to church. Dicks go wherever they want. ….I could go on.
Let me say THIS: Boys have dicks. When they’re all puberating and shit, let me tell you, their dick is just as powerful as their brains/hearts… let’s be honest, dicks are probably more powerful. You could be Jesus’s cousin and your dick would still be like SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX. It’s up to YOU to control that shit. But it’s probably hard when you’re young and horny. <– PUN ALERT!

Girl’s boyfriend on their relationship staying strong (he says this as he caresses her in the hopes of sex): “It’ll work out, trust me.”

My prediction: They break up. End of movie: He’s with another chick because the main character lies to him and purposefully gets pregnant and he freaks out because of lack of trust… Legit.

The conservative mom to a journalist who blogs about teen issues and asks for an interview: “It [teen pregnancy and sex] is not an appropriate subject matter for a blog.”

Read my website, asshole. I dare you to say it ain’t appropriate. Bitch, I will cut you. Kids, teens, youth, people NEED a source of valid information about sex, options, and issues related to all this sexuality business. Teens need a place to ask questions and feel comfortable emailing/asking anonymous questions in the hopes of a truthful, non-biased answer. Mother in movie, your ass is biased! Get out!! 

“Birth control is a private family matter that should stay out of school.”

I agree that birth control should be a family matter as in communication lines should be open and comfortable for a youth to talk to their parents/siblings about sex and safety. However, it should stay out of school? You think sex stays out of school? Bitch, please. You think 15 year old Cindy is playing hopscotch and painting her friend’s nails at lunch time? Bitch, please. She’s probably asking her friend what a blowjob is. JUST SAYIN! And that’s not a bad thing. Knowledge is power. Knowledge keeps us safe and aware of risk. Condoms are knowledge. Collect them. In all colours. 

The main character, a 15 year old girl, at her first ultrasound appointment after getting pregnant: “Do I really have to let a doctor look down there?”

This bitch can’t even say vagina and she’s pregnant! My dear!!! Yes, yes you do. You will also have pap tests and other things. Maybe one day you’ll have a vag wax and an aesthetician will look down there too. It’s cool! All women have vaginas my friend. Sarah’s tip: If you can’t say vagina or let a doctor look at it, don’t let a boy look at it! I like that… that should be on a t-shirt. 

Teenager girls at school who are pregnant: “In the old days, girls our age had kids!”

Although this is true, the “old days” were a different time where teens matured quickly and grew up in a different era. Nowadays, I feel like kids are more immature than ever. Myself included. Hell, I’m almost 26 and I’M not ready for a baby. I still call my mama and whine about stupid shit. I’m still growing into a functioning adult. My husband puts up with me… how? I’m adorable. 😉 :)
So bottom line: We live in a different world and 30 is the new 25; therefore, logic states that 20 is the new 15 etc. etc. and so “actually 15” means you are most definitely a child, and children should not have children… at least not THESE children in the movie. They are super immature. (They drink while pregnant!!! I cringed when I saw this. Don’t drink while pregnant. Ever.)

Teenage girls at school getting pregnant for fun: “I love babies! I wish I had a baby!” *later after baby is born* “It hurts SO bad! Why won’t it stop crying?!”

Have you ever heard of babysitting? I did it for years and it was excellent. Play mom for like 3 hours and then STOP. Also, if you feel like getting pregnant, here’s a tip for Halloween: Dress up as Charlotte from Charlotte’s web. She’s a pregnant spider! You can pretend you are pregnant for a night! I did it! It was fun. I convinced a couple of people I was like 9 months pregnant too!  And here’s a flattering aka terrible photo of my bitchin’ costume and very faux pregnant belly a few Halloweens ago.

Me as a pregnant spider on Halloween. Look how REAL it looks, and it’s NOT! Kids love to play pretend. PRETEND to be pregnant, you immature children! I did it and I’m an adult!

 

You’re welcome baby-fever teens who aren’t ready to have babies or be pregnant. I have found solutions to your baby problems!
#1 – Babysit other people’s children. They are ready to be parents and I’m sure would LOVE a night off as parenting is a difficult 24/7 job.
#2 – Dress up as a pregnant girl/spider for Halloween and pretend you are pregnant for the evening. Hell, stuff a pillow in your shirt and go to the mall on a Tuesday and make people open doors for you. Cut in line at a Starbucks demanding an iced tea for your baby. *pause* I might do this today… it sounds fun.

 

SO all in all, this movie was very informative and had A LOT of information about sex ed. I think it’s an excellent movie to showcase the naivety of teens and youth on the pros and cons of sex and relationships. Lifetime, I love you. And I enjoyed this movie. The only thing I didn’t like was how it still ended on a very “sex vs. religion” note, and was very obviously pro-choice which is a biased view of options for sexual health, but hey, what can you do? It stills works to convince me that communicating to youth about sex and relationships is necessary to stop unwanted teen pregnancy.

Sarah’s words of wisdom: Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool. Think twice before you grab a slice… of sex.

Stay SUPER safe, sexually speaking
With love,
Sarah “pregnancy isn’t for everybody” Wun

 

 

I am Proud

April 13th, 2013 by the sarah | Permalink

So I decided to record my poetry as was once recommended to me at an Inspired Word reading about a year ago. It’s really a brilliant idea.

This poem is about being proud of yourself. I wrote it right around the time I was going to Vancouver Pride in 2010. I was inspired by so many proud individuals who were so comfortable with themselves. It’s really important to be proud of who you are. You are the only YOU that exists so be proud of that! To relate to the overall theme of this website, be proud of your sexuality. I’m not just talking about LGBTQ; I’m talking about being proud of your values, opinions, experiences, and passions about sex and relationships. Do you value healthy relationships? Of course you do! Be proud of that.

I love diversity so therefore it’s safe to say I love sexual diversity! I love comfort and pride, so here is a poem that I am very proud of:

I am Proud – A Poem (Please click here for the youtube link).

This is supposed to be the artwork for the podcast. You may gaze at my art masterpiece as you listen to my powerful words… if you so choose. :)
P.S. It is supposed to say “FREEDOM”, which is does, I assure you. My camera cut it off because it’s not proud of itself…

Feel free to email me at sarah@educationsexpectations.com with questions, comments and ideas.

Stay safe, sexually speaking

Cut the sex, add the relationships!

April 10th, 2013 by the sarah | Permalink

I recently read a UK article highlighting the importance of proper sexual health education and that it must focus on relationship education in order to promote awareness of domestic violence and keep youth from entering, or remaining in, dangerous relationships.

I subscribe to Scarleteen.com, which is a sex ed website focused on the real world and not just FACTS pulled from some outdated pamphlet. Scarleteen led me to this article which I immediately opened and read. Thank you Scarleteen! Here’s what I learned:

Sex education should be about experiences. The article I found in the NewStatesman written by Cosslett and Baxter (2013) is a recent article talking about sex ed in the UK and how sex ed in schools is pretty much just the names of STIs and a scary birthing video… so, therefore, birth control. (If that video isn’t good birth control, I don’t know what is, HA!).

It’s the beautiful, simple, yet accurate title to this article that got me standing up and clapping: Teenagers already know about sex. Let’s teach them what a relationship looks like

PERFECT! Bitch, please. Half the teens you see walking around with their swagger and whatnot are perfectly aware that touching genitals with things, whether it’s other genitals or appendages, is nice. Most kids know that sex can get you pregnant, but what kids don’t realize is that their culture is steeped in myth and “norms” that are simply unacceptable (re: my previous article about rape and nonchalance concerning it in some cases). When was the last time you listened to a rap song, for example? Any song? The genderism, the sexism, the sexual explicitness of these songs! MY dear. Smack my bitch up? Don’t even try to smack THIS bitch up. Step back. .____.

This article makes me think of a lot of valid sexual health education questions for youth:

What IS a good relationship?
How do I survive a break up?
What is love?
What is lust?
What is a bad relationship?
How do I know if I’m in the right during an argument?
If he’s my boyfriend then isn’t he allowed to get sex from me whenever?
If she’s my girlfriend, isn’t she supposed to give me sex?
If two girls are in a relationship, doesn’t that mean they are adopting specific roles synonymous to hetero-normative ones?

Look at all these goddamn questions!!! And I’m a sexpert!!! Could I answer these simply and with ease? HELL no. Like sex, sexual relationships are difficult to define and understand. We are all different people and therefore we cannot all be put under the same umbrella. There is, however, an answer to what is a bad relationship. Scarleteen.com has an excellent forum of anecdotes and information about relationships. Another excellent place to ask questions is my beautiful friend and colleague, Options for Sexual Health. This website has a brilliant little thing called SEX SENSE hotline. If you call 1-800-SEX-SENSE, a very skilled and trained professional sex educator will answer the line and answer your questions unbiasedly and with a very friendly tone. I’ve called this number more than once. It’s an excellent resource for people who either don’t have access to the internet or want a straight answer from a reliable source (let’s face it: sometimes the internet is an asshole. Don’t believe it always).

I feel like calling SEX SENSE is similar to talking to a doctor or a nurse but less clinical. These professionals will literally answer ANYthing and EVERYthing concerning sexual health.

If you are in a relationship, I encourage you to analyze it. It’ll help you communicate better with your partner and learn about him or her and more about yourself. If there is anything that concerns you, talk to your partner. If you are still concerned or worried, call a sexpert at 1-800-SEX-SENSE or browse Scarleteen.com for anecdotes that may help you evaluate your relationship. I’m not telling you to go break up with your partner! I’m telling you to be aware of your relationship and keep it healthy and happy! :) If you aren’t in a relationship, I encourage you to study up on what is a healthy relationship so that you can make healthy choices when dating and/or sexing.

And of COURSE, if you have any questions or recommendations of articles, PLEASE email me at sarah@educationsexpectations.com as I will be BEYOND happy to help you out by writing it out.

Thank you to articles like this one that remind us that sex education is more about intercourse! Some of the most important information we can receive is how to interact and socially meld with others. Girl, can I tell you, I’ve been there. I’ve been in relationships. I’m in one now! FOREVER! Marriage. :) Before I got married though, I did some mad self assessment and analyzed what I wanted and how I could achieve it. My partner and I communicate more than a concerned father and his daughter on a 90’s family-friendly sitcom! If you can’t talk it out, ask yourself why? HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS! Sex starts THERE.

Stay safe, sexually speaking.

The R word: What is this and how can I kill it?

March 19th, 2013 by the sarah | Permalink

How can I kill the thoughts of morons who claim:

“well… you were drunk.”

“well… you were dressed like that.”

“well… he is such a funny and smart guy. He would never do that.”

“…but she’s a girl. Girls can’t rape guys.”

Take your uneducated, wrong ass back to the drawing board and draw a picture of me hitting you with a car!!!

Rape: One can define rape as unlawful sexual activity, typically intercourse, carried out forcibly against the will of a person under the age of consent or a person who has not consented to the act. Another definition calls rape “an outrageous violation”. It is comparable and in the same category as sexual assault and sometimes is called just that.

As a sexual health educator, I feel it is imperative that I speak out on this matter. First thing’s first: The victims are all I care about. Not criminals. 

If you cannot go to a party and not rape someone, bitch it’s time for you to never go to a party!! Ever again.

Rape can happen in other places, but college parties are one of the most notorious places where sexual assault and rape occurs.

I’ve read a few articles and been notified via social networks of an occurrence in West Virginia of a rape. All the details centre around the rapists. I won’t go further. I don’t care about the rapists. Anyway, some comments on this specific situation float the idea around of women accepting risk and needing to accept the fact that rape is possible of they go to a party….

Bitch, what?

 

What is this I don’t even!

If a girl goes to a party where there is alcohol, she is supposed to be aware of consequences and therefore is partially responsible if something happens because she is supposed to be aware? What if a woman is walking home from feeding blind puppies and gets attacked? Is she supposed to accept the risk that a woman can get raped anywhere and therefore must never go outside? EVER? How dare she…

Reality is, rape is 100% never the fault of the victim. Bitch, some chick could be lying naked on a couch and smiling. Plot twist: She’s a nudist and this is a normal Tuesday for her! Never does a person ASK to be raped. C’mon now.

Girls and guys should be able to dress as they please and go where they please without worry.

As. they. please.

Unfortunately, our world isn’t candies and rainbows, so it is beneficial to take caution in some ways for certain situations. For example, at a college party: watch your drink at all times, have a friend to take you home or a taxi number readily available, and always eat your vegetables to promote a healthy bowel.

Also, one of the many disturbing misconceptions about rape is that it cannot happen to a guy.

Let me tell you something. Consent goes both ways. I would be more cautious as a guy, in a party situation for example, because of the ugly beliefs about gender stereotypes. Men are stronger? That means nothing when you’re being violated.

Rape can happen anywhere to anyone. If you see someone who might be in danger, check on them. It might mean more to them than you can imagine.

I was once at a party. I was having a great time, but my head started to hurt and it kept getting worse. Eventually, I asked one of my male friends to walk me home. I had my head in my hands and my friend was walking me out the door when another guy stopped him saying, “Excuse me! Excuse me! Where are you going?” My friend said “I’m just walking her home. Her head–” “I wasn’t talking to you. Excuse me?” He looked at me. “Do you know this guy?” I was surprised. I said, “Yes I do. He’s my friend, but thank you for asking. I really appreciate your concern for my safety.” He then talked with us for a minute, shook my friend’s hand, and went back inside. He wasn’t the owner of the house. He had never even seen me before…

In a party setting, especially college or university where peer pressure is high and “budding adulthood” is intriguing, this kind of behaviour seems a little rare. I didn’t expect anyone to bat an eye at two people leaving a party. God bless that outstanding gentleman who made sure I was safe and in the hands of someone I knew rather than a stranger. I hope he is doing well today. I wish I could see him again so I could shake his hand and say thank you.

From all the girls and boys, men and women, who avoid walking around at night for fear of attack, thank you kind bystanders who make us feel safe.

From all the students who avoid college parties because of so many stories with unhappy endings, and they just don’t want to risk it, thank you for being a true gentleman and a hero.

When you (yes you!) are in a situation that doesn’t seem right, be a hero and step up to make sure it’s all good. In my story, my male friend was not offended by the questioning. He was actually very impressed that someone would take the time to assess a precarious picture (my head was down and a larger male was guiding me quickly from a party). We need more stories about heroes and true, honourable people in this world. God bless that guy.

Rape. It’s not about that power-hungry asshole who thinks the law is flexible and optional. It’s about the beautiful, intelligent, inspiring individuals who need to hear “it’s not your fault. It never was. It never will be” again and again.

I applaud victims for their courage, strength, and wisdom they pass on to others. I applaud the amazing, intelligent, extraordinary individuals who stand up and assess potentially risky situations. These people stop ugly things, like rape, from happening.

I do not applaud rapists. I don’t care about rapists. I don’t want to know who you are. Get the fuck out of my newspaper.

 You heard me…

 

Stay safe, please! Sexually speaking.

Questioning Abstinence

January 12th, 2013 by the sarah | Permalink

Abstinence: What’s the deal?

Here are some issues I have with abstinence-only education and the murky definition of abstinence in general.

Why is abstinence not just another method of birth control?

Why is it assumed that students are going to have sex/need to abstain/will have sex and regret it?

Why is sex a bad thing?

Why is abstinence the only way to remain ‘pure’ (Valenti, 2010)?

What is abstinence? Why is the definition so grey?

How long should I abstain? When can I decide against it? What if I never want to get married? What if I never get married?

Am I allowed to kiss? What am I allowed to do? Why? Why not? (See Maxwell, 2008 “Sexual Health Information for Teens” for more on abstinence and definitions).

 

Thoughts? Abstinence… to abstain from.. sex? Or from everything sex related? Philosophy, for the win.

So here’s my email. So write me daily.

January 12th, 2013 by the sarah | Permalink

Hello friends! It’s about time YOU got to email your favourite sexpert!!! With this website up and running, I decided to go all professional on your ass and get a super sick email address for those of you wish to contact me.

You can message me on the site directly OR email me (better). For requests, comments and/or concerns, compliments, websites, resources and to send me pictures of hot celebrities, please email:

sarah@educationsexpectations.com

The other side of the sexual spectrum

January 12th, 2013 by the sarah | Permalink

A few months ago, the topic of involuntary celibacy was brought up to me and a blog was requested. I really do appreciate requests, especially of this nature! I haven’t come across much research, or even definitions, of involuntary celibacy, so needless to say, I’ve been doing some research and reading up on the topic for a much needed blog on the little known topic of “Incel”.

I initially thought involuntary celibacy was like asexuality, so I decided to brush up on the basics of asexuality before dividing into the Incel world.

As asexuality.org explains, asexuality describes a person or people who do not experience sexual attraction. They experience emotion and can have typical intimate relationships but sexual attraction to others is not there. Where sexual abstinence and celibacy (differing from “involuntary” celibacy) are choices, involuntary celibacy – much like the name suggests-  as well as asexuality, are not choices.  Asexuality is more of an identity thing.

After summing up my research on the two topics, and in my opinion, it seems like asexuality is more a physical thing whereas involuntary celibacy is a psychosocial concern. More often than not, research suggests that those suffering from involuntary celibacy have symptoms or causes bigger than the Incel: depression, anxiety, stress, and so on.

Put simply, involuntary celibacy is the state of a person who hasn’t had intimate relationships, sex or sexual intercourse for reasons other than voluntary celibacy or sexual abstinence. These individuals want to have sex but for varying reasons cannot. These reasons seem to be social in nature.

Now it is necessary to be aware of this definition in the context of individuals at an appropriate age for sex. For example, I don’t think it is valid to consider a 14 year old involuntarily celibate. Insert Sarahism: “Bitch please! What 14 year old is having sex?! Girl, you know what sex is?! When I was 14, boys had cooties!” 

Also, a “dry spell” and involuntary celibacy are not the same. If you ain’t got mojo for a week or a month, it’s entirely normal. Maybe you are super stressed at work. Maybe your boyfriend has a moustache that he refuses to shave even after you’ve reminded him that Movember ended 5 months ago… *pause* … Just sayin’.

In all seriousness though, involuntary celibacy implies a lack of intimate physical connection for a long period of time – years, sometimes decades.

It is hard to decipher why one is involuntarily celibate, but as I stated above, it is more often than not due to a deeper psychological or social reason. Some researchers state that individuals may be fearful of sex while others suggest a strong link between lack of sex and depression. In a psychological session, it is imperative to look beyond the physical act of sex to pinpoint what the symptoms could be or if sex itself is only a symptom to a bigger cause…? It’s possible.

 

It is difficult for individuals with involuntary celibacy because there is such a strong cultural expectation surrounding sex! Hell, these days with media overpowering the universe, it is expected that one will have sex in their 20’s let alone 30’s and 40’s! With shows such as Jersey Shore and Gossip Girl (guilty pleasures for the win) skyrocketing in popularity, especially in the Western world, people may feel the need to label sex as the norm and virginity, celibacy, abstinence or involuntary celibacy as abnormal. Really… who’s to say what’s normal? Fun fact: I watch both of these shows. Embarrassed? Bitch please, I love a terrible reality show and a delicious teen soap! I’ll own it. 

There is a common misconception that Incels (this, I believe, stands for involuntary celibates, describing individuals who define themselves as having involuntary celibacy) want to be without intimate relationships and sex. They want nothing to do with intimate relationships and physical connection with others. Not the case! Some Incels feel like they are behind in the dating game. At an advanced age when typically the normal picture of a dating scene has adults from teens to late 20’s, people with involuntary celibacy may feel like they don’t know how to “court” if you will, or don’t know how to “lose one’s virginity” at a later age. Girl, who cares about your age! There’s no rule that states one must lose their virginity at a certain age!

 

I still don’t know too much about involuntary celibacy. Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of research out there. I did find a couple of websites and resources which I will post at the end of this article for anyone who is interested in learning more about these interesting topics.

I think the answer is awareness, comprehensive information, and an openness to either sex therapy or general therapy. Talking about issues helps them become and feel more “normal”. Again, I have no authority on stating what is “normal”, but I think you readers catch my drift. Reflection on one’s sex life and values may help the sufferer to explore why he or she might be feeling a certain way towards sex. Also, taking in different viewpoints on sex could help with a comprehensive overview of different sexualities and different sexual dysfunctions, making the sufferer feel at ease to know there are others out there who are dealing with sexual issues.
I’m currently dealing with a sexual issue: Joseph Gordon-Levitt or Emile Hirsch topless as my desktop photo?? 

 

Here are some sites that are a lot more helpful than I am. I just wanted to raise the issue and bring some light to a very important sexual issue. I hope you enjoyed the read.

Asexuality: http://www.asexuality.org/en/forum/5-asexual-qa/
Involuntary celibacy: http://www.involuntarycelibacy.com/
Incel forums (I always think people with firsthand experiences are the best resource!): http://incel.myonlineplace.org/forum/forumdisplay.php?s=1f21a8c983a40463b8e12e58fa3213bf&f=6
Sex isn’t everything… true, An interesting read: http://men.webmd.com/features/sexless-in-the-city?page=3

Stay safe, sexually speaking.

The Sarah

Love your face in black lace!

October 26th, 2012 by the sarah | Permalink

MY people,

I’ve been MIA for over a YEAR! I apologize profusely. For those of you who know me, I met someone, I was rapidly writing my amazingly amazing (now complete) Master’s thesis, I did four thousand other things that impeded me from keeping up with my blog, including got married — THANK YOU!!!

So anyway, I am BACK. Sarah, who still loves sex education even though she is currently living in a beyond conservative part of the world — hey girl, I’m in the Middle East! Yes, I am also teaching English in Abu Dhabi.

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED!

However, yesterday I had a revelation. I was washing dishes in a black lacy thing when I realized something. These past few months (I’ve been in Abu Dhabi for two months and culture shock, among other things, has caused me to become a tad depressed and confused), I have had to garnish myself in long sleeved shirts and long skirts so has to hide my “sinful” elbows and knees (the horror… — on the contrary, I love that I don’t have to shave my legs!!).

So YESTERDAY, I decided to frolic about in my black lacy thing. It had NOTHING to do with sex and everything to do with confidence. I washed the hell out of those dishes, happily. I looked super good and felt super good.

Tell me this isn’t effing beautiful?!?!

Here’s my point: Everyone needs black lace. Trust me, I am looking mighty homely lately, but DAMN IT when I put on my black lace, I felt so incredible. My husband says he loves me in anything (awwww), but no one can doubt the treasured feeling of the black lace. Whether it be underwear, a nighty, an overshirt, a scarf, or gloves… black lace knows what the hell it’s doing!

And JUST because this blog is partially about sex, I may as well throw out the idea that black lace is sexy beyond belief! To everyone, ever.

I dig it.

If you are confident, life is just better… sexually speaking AND otherwise. :)

Black lace is undoubtedly empowering. Maybe you prefer red? Red also works. White? Purple? Lace is a beautiful thing. As women, we must sometimes surrender to the beauty of super female-y things, such as lace.

Men in lace? I’d dig it… LACE IS POWERFUL! I want to wear my black lace all the time. With red lipstick. And a tight bun. Business woman chic. HOT!

Alas, that’s enough of that.

It’s great to be back. I’ll try to blog here but alas I have little to no internet in the desert.

The new and improved, Sarah

My issue with judgmental people

November 16th, 2011 by the sarah | Permalink

So I’m currently reading a lot of research and popular literature surrounding “issues of disagreement”, so to speak, when it comes to sexual health education.

I have an issue:

WHY do people care about stuff that doesn’t pertain to them?!?! Do I care about the couple sitting across from me making out and wondering if they will use a condom tonight? Well, yes… HOWEVER, I assume that because they are 18+ (I’m in a university right now) they have been equipped with healthy decision-making skills and/or are aware that free condoms are available at the health centre. Also, it’s SEX WEEK, (holla), so people should not be having any unsafe sex damn it!

WHY do assholes people care about petitioning things that have NOTHING to do with them?!?!?! For example, petitioning for a lower tuition as a university student makes PERFECT sense to me. Petitioning against hiring homosexual teachers at a school (I know! Ridiiiiiculous) makes no sense to me when you SHOULD be perfectly aware that a person’s sexual orientation does not negatively reflect his/her ability to teach. It probably makes them a more passionate teacher! Just saying… Because self-confidence and awareness is a beautiful thing that only makes someone stronger!! Be yourselves my friends. <3

WHYYYYY do bitches people care about picketing outside hospitals?!!!???? Like, if someone was having a really intense life or death situation surgery and people were holding signs that said “You can do it!” and “I believe in you!” and awesome stuff like that, then please continue to sing and dance outside of hospitals. That would be wicked actually. If I was in a situation like that and people were holding signs outside saying “I love you” and such, awwww… :)

What I MEAN is people who picket against abortion. Who are you? Seriously, who are you? Women have rights just like others to do whatever they please with their bodies. People make mistakes (unsafe sex, just saying), but keep your mothereffing opinion to yourself. Freedom of speech my ass. You are hurting people.

I only ever saw abortion pickets o television until I moved here. Now I see them all the time when I drive by the hospital. It makes me feel bad going in when I need a blood test! Go get educated my friends and stop blocking my way into the ultrasound room. (Exaggeration… but still).

WHY do people feel the need to preach against others? Don’t be judgmental. No one is defined by ONE decision he or she makes. As for sexual orientation, the decision is not to be gay/straight/bi/trans/black/white/penguin/hippo, it is to accept what you are BORN with: that is your sexual identity.

I can’t wait until we live in a world where no one cares and there aren’t even labels. I can’t wait to live in a world where people are people. Let’s make it happen.

Educate. Liberate. Celebrate! (Slogan from Vancouver 2010 Pride that I loooooove and want to marry).

Forgive my rant… I just find so much negativity around something so positive: Freedom of choice, Freedom of identity and self, and Freedom to live the life you want to live.

Stay safe, sexually speaking.

PS. Don’t GET me started on masturbation. If you’ve read any of my sex ed preachings, you know how I feel about the wonderful world of masturbation. Boys and girls: You will not die if you masturbate. Words of wisdom: Don’t do it on the subway. Keep it private kids.

Once Upon a Condom: A contraceptive’s tale

November 2nd, 2011 by the sarah | Permalink

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So I read this article on social change and the sexual revolution and discovered SO much about the origin of contraceptives. I have decided to write this in the form of a fairytale… as we all know condoms are like enchanted fairies in that they protect us and bestow majesty onto our lives.

Ahem: Once upon a condom…


Once upon a time, in 1900 to be exact, premarital sex was frowned upon. If one was to frolic in the bed with another, approximately “71% of females would have gotten pregnant (had they engaged in sex for a year at normal frequencies)” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. 905). Good Lord, the townsfolk said. Let us change this so that by 2002, these odds will drop to 28%.

Thus, the “contraception revolution” began!


Once upon a condom, venereal diseases were the main concern in regards to premarital, unprotected sex (Beck & Earl, 2003; Greenwood & Guner, 2010). Back in the day, condoms were used for STI purposes rather than for pregnancy. HOWEVER, condoms were damn pricey in the 1900’s being around “$34 a dozen relative to today’s real wages” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. p. 905). JESUS a townswoman screamed. I KNOW another townsperson shrieked, agog at this craziness. Bitch please.


In the 1930’s, a miracle occurred: this miracle was named the latex condom.


This miracle greatly reduced cost and greatly increased quality. Hmmm… BIRTH CONTROL, WHAT A GOOD IDEA!!!!

All of a sudden, other methods of birth control started POURING out of the sky!!!


In 1960, “The Food and Drug Administration approved the use of [the pill], which was a remarkable scientific achievement involving the synthesis of a hormone designed to fool the reproductive system” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. 906). BWAHAHAHAHA reproductive system, screamed the pill. You just got PUNKED!!


The townspeople, and the rest of the world, soon discovered the power of knowledge and how knowledge about reproduction and contraception is super important and VITAL in safe sexual practices and sexuality in general.


In 1914, the modern birth control movement began with a badass named Margaret Sanger who published a pamphlet on birth control and opened the first birth control clinic in 1919 (the first operational birth control clinic was in 1923). Sanger promoted birth control even though the police got super pissed at her for being all liberal and prosecuted her for her awesome innovation. Assholes.


The birth control movement was HUGE, making information about contraception incredibly available and easily accessible. Eventually, the condom became super popular and now it is the most popular method of birth control; its use actually increasing over time!! The role of the condom in safe sex SIGNIFICANTLY impacted pregnancy rates, “declining pregnancies among teenagers during the 1990’s” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. 906).

The increase in condom usage was ALSO influenced by formal reproductive health education!!!!!! Claps. GOOD JOB CONDOM!! Way to educate people. I’m so proud of you. Sex ed continued to expand during the 1990s into the beauty it is today. It continues to expand. EXPAND MORE!!!!


So the moral of the story is condom failure rates have declined from 45-14.5% due to technological advancements and increased knowledge about its appropriate use (Greenwood & Guner, 2010). Also, the pill rose to become the most effective form of contraception when it was introduced in the 1960’s, showing the importance of education.

Together, condom and pill are a power team of unbeatable awesomeness…aka neither of them are 100% effective, but the reliability has increased with awareness and innovation.

Well done team safe sex.


Fin.


References:

*

Greenwood, J. & Guner, N. (2010, November). Social change: The sexual revolution. International Economic Review, 51(4): 893-923.

Key issues in secondary education (2003). In Beck J., Earl M. (Eds.), (2nd ed.). London: Continuum.


*Math and sex ed? Love it. For the quantitative in you!! Most of my information came from this source. Thanks fellow sexual health promoters!


Stay safe, with condoms

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So I read this article on social change and the sexual revolution and discovered SO much about the origin of contraceptives. I have decided to write this in the form of a fairytale… as we all know condoms are like enchanted fairies in that they protect us and bestow majesty onto our lives.

Ahem: Once upon a condom…

Once upon a time, in 1900 to be exact, premarital sex was frowned upon. If one was to frolic in the bed with another, approximately “71% of females would have gotten pregnant (had they engaged in sex for a year at normal frequencies)” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. 905). Good Lord, the townsfolk said. Let us change this so that by 2002, these odds will drop to 28%.

Thus, the “contraception revolution” began!

Once upon a condom, venereal diseases were the main concern in regards to premarital, unprotected sex (Beck & Earl, 2003; Greenwood & Guner, 2010). Back in the day, condoms were used for STI purposes rather than for pregnancy. HOWEVER, condoms were damn pricey in the 1900’s being around “$34 a dozen relative to today’s real wages” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. p. 905). JESUS a townswoman screamed. I KNOW another townsperson shrieked, agog at this craziness. Bitch please.

In the 1930’s, a miracle occurred: this miracle was named the latex condom.

This miracle greatly reduced cost and greatly increased quality. Hmmm… BIRTH CONTROL, WHAT A GOOD IDEA!!!!

All of a sudden, other methods of birth control started POURING out of the sky!!!

In 1960, “The Food and Drug Administration approved the use of [the pill], which was a remarkable scientific achievement involving the synthesis of a hormone designed to fool the reproductive system” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. 906). BWAHAHAHAHA reproductive system, screamed the pill. You just got PUNKED!!

The townspeople, and the rest of the world, soon discovered the power of knowledge and how knowledge about reproduction and contraception is super important and VITAL in safe sexual practices and sexuality in general.

In 1914, the modern birth control movement began with a badass named Margaret Sanger who published a pamphlet on birth control and opened the first birth control clinic in 1919 (the first operational birth control clinic was in 1923). Sanger promoted birth control even though the police got super pissed at her for being all liberal and prosecuted her for her awesome innovation. Assholes.

The birth control movement was HUGE, making information about contraception incredibly available and easily accessible. Eventually, the condom became super popular and now it is the most popular method of birth control; its use actually increasing over time!! The role of the condom in safe sex SIGNIFICANTLY impacted pregnancy rates, “declining pregnancies among teenagers during the 1990’s” (Greenwood & Guner, 2010, p. 906).

The increase in condom usage was ALSO influenced by formal reproductive health education!!!!!! Claps. GOOD JOB CONDOM!! Way to educate people. I’m so proud of you. Sex ed continued to expand during the 1990s into the beauty it is today. It continues to expand. EXPAND MORE!!!!

So the moral of the story is condom failure rates have declined from 45-14.5% due to technological advancements and increased knowledge about its appropriate use (Greenwood & Guner, 2010). Also, the pill rose to become the most effective form of contraception when it was introduced in the 1960’s, showing the importance of education.

Together, condom and pill are a power team of unbeatable awesomeness…aka neither of them are 100% effective, but the reliability has increased with awareness and innovation.

Well done team safe sex.

Fin.

References:
*

Greenwood, J. & Guner, N. (2010, November). Social change: The sexual revolution. International Economic Review, 51(4): 893-923.
Key issues in secondary education (2003). In Beck J., Earl M. (Eds.), (2nd ed.). London: Continuum.

*Math and sex ed? Love it. For the quantitative in you!! Most of my information came from this source. Thanks fellow sexual health promoters!

Stay safe, with condoms
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